Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
