I fucked **** last night, don't tell mike
this is mike. we're done.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
