do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Back of his car in the Starbucks parking lot WITH HIS APRON STILL ON. Check and Mate.
Holy shit. You won barista bingo AND the Triple Crown in one day.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
