im drinking this country out of the recession.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
it is entirely possible that the police will be knocking on the door in 25 minutes
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
