There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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