Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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