They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Randomize
