my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Randomize
