ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
