big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
she smelled like a LAN party
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
Randomize
