Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
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