your room smells of hookers.
And success
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I kept whispering "I love it when you call me big papa" until she got annoyed and left
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
