We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
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