you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
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