I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just woke up to a 10 min voicemail of you singing "99 red ballons".... you need to work on your german..
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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