I'm having a terrible night. Can I sleep over?
Too tired to pretend that I care : (
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
