we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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