he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Randomize