Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
