Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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