YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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