Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
Randomize
