That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
