Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Of the past 48 hours, 46 of them have been spent naked. I'd say it's been a good two days.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
