just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
