Don't you send me to vm
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
