WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
