its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I just blew my weed a kiss
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
