with your own penis?
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
