What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
