You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
