I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
