drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
