After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
