i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
