dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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