there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
