u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
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