Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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