About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
