Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Randomize