So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
