I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
Waldo just asked us for directions. Even he doesn't know where he is.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I say I'm working from home on conference call days, but really I just mute the phone, put that shit on speaker so I can hear what's going on, and let Marcus fuck my brains out.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
