Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
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