so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
if i hadn't ended our catfight by hugging you one of us might be dead right now
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
