i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
