It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
So howd u manage to get high at a one year olds birthday anyway?
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
