It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
