Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
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