And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
