you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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