I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
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