You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Randomize
