He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
