Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
cat food counts as protein by the way
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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