I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
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