Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
So gin and wine won't be happening again
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize