she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize