I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
Randomize
