I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Randomize
