Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
