They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
