Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
