at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
