Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
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