i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
her roommates boyfriend drunkenly walked in on us banging and said yeeeeaaaaaahhhh and tried to high five me
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize