So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
there is puke in my bra ... again
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
