OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize