If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
we can't get the sharpie off the toilet seat from where you pressed your forearm with THUG LIFE written on it while you puked until 3 last night
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize
