Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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