We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
I hate that I will forever be known as the girl who puked on the front lawn. That only happened once.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
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