i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
What kind of sociopath goes to sleep at 9pm when I clearly need attention
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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