I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
