I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
College is a time for personal growth. Meaning it's time to start using those pickup lines on randos at dive bars.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
Randomize
