What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
